Paper Man

Richard regarded his solitude as something sacred, as a well earned badge of honor, a cloak to be worn to ward off life, as his safety. Solitude is who he was. This caused those in his life to view him with a barely veiled contempt. Richard was certain that he was not liked. Which is hard on a man. Maybe it was because he gave nothing that he received nothing in return. In any case, his situation had become intolerable. The closest things he had to friends were either imaginary or extinct. And Richard had reached a point in his life where this was no longer enough. And then he met a girl. And she was warm. And she was sad. And she was maybe lonely in a way that reminded him of himself. She’d lost things that a girl should never have lost. And she knew things. And she taught him. And Richard thought: Maybe this is what friendship feels like. Maybe. It was just a glimpse, they’d barely begun, really. But in those long, few winter days she’d given him so much. Enough so that Richard could go on. And what had he given her? Just a few words on a page. Not much, perhaps. But for Abby, he hoped it was enough.

- Paper Man, 2009.

Banda Aceh, Indonesia.

Aceh was a trip made in September, 2009. I didn’t expect much, considering the purpose of our trip was to observe the locals and provide them with training on entrepreneurship and the development of a sustainable enterprise (paper making techniques made out of agricultural waste).

I was actually more concerned about security, aware of the fact that Banda Aceh has been through many wars, but apparently violence pretty much ended there in 2004 when the Tsunami came and swept away approximately 170,000 lives. Banda Aceh remains to be one of the friendliest places I’ve ever encountered, but these photographs are of those without the smiling faces.

Let’s Go

In spite of my occasional emotional coldness and constant fuck-ups, we’re here now on this journey together because you fought for us and I want you to know that I’ll forever thank you for that. Goodnight, sayang.

Flake

I am not making sense right now.
I am running you adrift right now.
I will keep saying no to you right now.
I feel very comfortable with you right now.

It feels very shit right now.

I want to know what its like to miss you that way.
I need to know how it feels to want you that way.

Please make way for that space for me.
Please allow for these feelings to happen for me.
Please let me come to you, for a change.

You’re afraid of losing me.
I’m afraid of hurting you.

We need to stop that or
stop this,
once and for all.

Jakarta / Love

Often, when I take leave off work, I’m always at home. Wasn’t much of a traveler then, I suppose. Jakarta was last August, my first of the three holidays last year since 12 years ago. It was a destination long due; and for good reason. Someday I’ll write about that. Meanwhile, all was not lost as I fell for Jakarta / got to know my kid brother a little better / learned to take photos with my phone / made friends with my new wonderful color people  /  danced to the Lisztomania /  unwittingly, said goodbye.

More photos here.

Pause

I was looking at the pictures taken from my sister’s camera when we were in China last year and was delighted to see a few snapshots of myself going click click click with the SLR, point-and shoot and mobile phone camera. All of which I love because they produce very different results. Well, it certainly was interesting seeing two photographs taken within a single moment from two different perspectives.

-_- x 27

CMYK Lovers; Twenty seven years today and close to a year ago next month before we landed back on RGB.
Stay tough and happy birthday.

-_-

PS: Can’t say I miss you, but I do pray you’re okay.

Break A Leg -_-

I want you to be honest to yourself.
I want you to learn from this.

If you’re not, then you deserve what’s coming.
Make peace, think hard and take care.

The Dusting Of Beautiful Strangers

The thing I enjoy most about traveling is when I feel like an absolute nobody and forced to interact with strangers. The language barriers, the conversations and series of stories exchanged which lead us into this part of the world which now gives us the privilege to calling each other on a first name basis.

I’ve been told by some (not just you, no offense) how being a speck of dust in this universe depresses them. I know how that feels but I think its very depressing to feel that way about ourselves. I know I’m all but a speck of dust so what I plan is to make full use of that and honestly, meeting these new beautiful strangers helps. What I realize is, my life isn’t as hard or important as the few I’m met here in Xi’an.

On my first day here, I met Damien, a Irish banker living in the Czech republic who is now walking the earth for the past several months actually, beginning his journey from Europe passing Russia, Mongolia and now China. He’s expected to arrive in Kuala Lumpur in March.

Tony, was on his way from England stopping by Xi’an on route to India. That was five years ago. He now runs the first soup kitchen for the homeless in China. Last night I was at the local church with him distributing food to the homeless. He does this three times a week. He also showed me photos of his new home, a small cottage in the mountains approximately 3 hours from the city of Xi’an.

Francoisi is a french nurse studying Chinese medicine. She was with Doctors Without Borders in Southern America back in the mid 80s. That was where she first met her future husband briefly but the love affair only sparked years later when the two nurses were stationed and met again at a small village in Switzerland. In between these times, she hitchhiked from South America making her way into Canada working with a fake ID as a waitress. She lived in Canada for a few years till she was caught, and deported. She now has 2 sons, aged 19 and 21 and separated from her husband.

There’s a few more beautiful specks of dusts; Peter Mak, a local who tried to pick me up for a drink. “Are you Muslim? Very nice to meet you. You very special. I want to take you for drink. Maybe coffee or beer?” he said. Hilarious. 3 Belgian childhood friends making their way from Europe to New Zealand. Sonja, a Mandarin speaking lawyer from the United States. She recently passed the bar exam, will start practicing next month when she gets home.  She’s been ill so I haven’t seen her in a while, but Fran is taking care of her so I’m sure she’ll be just fine.

I’m probably going to rewrite this again because I’m rushing and leaving Xi’an in a few hours. Catching a train back to Beijing for my flight to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow. It has been a good trip.

PS: You told me to travel for the drama rather than living it, and you were right. Thank you.

Bye Bye Beijing

We’ve arrived at the small province of Xi’an from a 12 hour overnight train from Beijing. Very tired. We had to check out from the hotel in Beijing yesterday and decided to go straight to the train station. A 7 hour wait before the train arrives. Anyways, comparing Beijing with Xi’an is like comparing KL with Ipoh. But apparently this place is said to be the first metropolis in the history of mankind and where all the terracottas were discovered. So I’m pretty sure this is gonna get pretty exciting.

By the way, I’m am liking the hostel we checked into very, very much. These are mostly pictures of the hostel’s open air courtyards. Our rooms are all in between the courtyards. Like those old school shop houses you find in Ipoh and Malacca. Charming sangat.

The hostel’s cat named, er… Hostel.

The hostel is opposite The Great Wall. Right across the street. Pretty surreal considering its the same damn building I saw and left in Beijing, 12 hours ago.

PS: Remind me to post up pictures of the Beijing train station. Its about the size of KLCC.